Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Dear Cougar Town: Kiss my Quebecer derrière

Don't know who's responsible for this -writers Bill Lawrence & Kevin Biegel, Star&Producer Courtney Cox, ABC network that airs it or just some disgruntled exec who needs to vent out some marital or financial frustration and chose the easiest target. Whoever is responsible, Cougar Town went too far with it last night.

We get it, we get the f*cking point: Hollywood, chosen medium of God who are the light of this world and without whom the planet would stop spinning and revert back to the dark ages, hates Quebecers. We get it, you don't like the millions (yes, MILLIONS) of Canadian dollars we pour into your FAILING  AND WEAK economy, you hate that we're regarded by the rest of the world as the friendliest people on the planet while EVERY other country hates the living shit out of you lot, you hate that nobody here carries a gun and yet you will hardly find a safer place on Earth, you HATE us. Trust me, it's not like we didn't know, we live right next to "y'all".

We get it, it's neither subtle nor any kind of original. Every American TV show I've ever watched has made a crack at us. BUT any of the jokes made in that episode last night would've NEVER EVER EVER been made toward any other ethnic group on the PLANET. "Why is this place always filled with Chinks?" No, won't hear that. "There's no spot on the beach, there's too many WOPs!" Nada. And let's not get started on the N word. That's the gospel truth: Quebecers are the last nation you can make fun of without anyone -ANYONE- protesting it it any way. Hell, it's even encouraged, by our own f*cking Federal Government who refused to condemn Conan O'Brien in any way when he came here and called us all a people of "faggots and perverts" to our faces. Though you bet your sweet ass they were up in arms when Billy Bob called the rest of Canada a bunch of Mash Potatoes WithoutGravy, whatever the Hell that meant.

We get it, and I can take a joke, I really do. One crack at us would've been funny. Hell, even three. But I counted 12, and not just jokes; we were physically depicted as a bunch of embarrassments on legs.No wonder your own MPAA doesn't want the rest of the country to see the documentary Bully: that's what this is, Bullying, picking on someone who doesn't pose any kind of threat (it's not like we have nukes or 16 covert agencies spying on everybody else), kicking the shit out of them because it makes you feel bigger and better in your ego. Look at me, Look at me!!! I crapped all over those stupid French Canadians!!! I'm tough, aren't I?!?!? And by the way, I speak 4 languages and never EVER EVER met a full grown Quebecer who doesn't speak any English, because unlike some neighbouring country I won't name we embrace the world we live in instead of trying to dominate and exploit it. Good luck finding a goddman Yank who could ask for directions over here, though.

I used to be a fan and vocal supporter of that ratings-deficient show. That might be why they hate me so much. Who needs people to pay for your product, in this economy!?!


  1. Let's be realistic here. I am a northern US snowbird (Michigan) . I have been s snowbird for 20 years. I normally travel to Daytona Beach area. Let's start off by saying that I have many and I mean many French Canadian friends, many whom we get together at our northern homes. My experience with Quebecers is different. They seem distant and unwilling to become friends. They stay in groups of there own and tend to be noisy and bolsterous. Always speaking in French. Here in the US we have to deal with Spanish as a second language, but they are residents and citizens. Quebecers are guests and an attempt at the language is important. I know most speak English, I have heard it. I can not explain what it is but the reputation of Quebecer's just is not that good. Maybe they should try and change the image they have while down here in Florida. Just a suggestion.

  2. I'm a Quebecer and was wondering why there was so many jokes about us on that Cougar Town episode. I think it's because of the snowbirds. I'm kind of agree with the anonymous comment. There is a lot of Quebecers who doesn't speak a fluent English, and the only think they like about the United States is their Florida beaches when winter comes.