MOVIE MARQUEE SHOWDOWN #2: 48 Hours vs Lethal Weapon

STARS & SUPPORT:

• 48 Hours - Nick Nolte, Eddie Murphy, Annette O'Toole, James Remar, Brion James. Nolte made a specialty of bombing his own career but as a gruff detective who screwed up his life eight ways 'till yesterday, he was right at home. Murphy, heck, I never liked him period. Nice supporting cast, especially O'Toole who is an eternal beauty, but no real star power and no memorable performances. 
• Lethal Weapon - Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Mitch Ryan, Tom Atkins. Not a lot of big names either, even years later, but Gary Busey is the closest thing to Nick Nolte's clone you'll ever find, and he's a support player here... Mitch Ryan isn't a name but he is a face, one of those "that guy" actors who always delivers. But it's the dynamic duo of Glover and Gibson whose tangible chemistry took the world by storm to make this film one of the more memorable actioner from the 80s.
• ADVANTAGE: Lethal Weapon

 BOX-OFFICE: 

• 48 Hours - Unknown production budget (or undisclosed...) with a total theatrical take of $78M. Would seem mild today, but in 1982, that was big business.
• Lethal Weapon - Unknown production budget (or undisclosed...) but the third cost $35M (7 years later) so let's make this one about $15M. Total domestic take of $120M, in 1987 money.
• ADVANTAGE: TIE

REVIEW RATINGS:

• 48 Hours-  Box-Office Mojo= B, IMDb= 6.9, Rotten Tomatoes= 94%, Rogert Ebert= 3.5/5
• Lethal Weapon- Box-Office Mojo= B, IMDb= 7.6, Rotten Tomatoes= 90%, Roger Ebert= 4/5
• ADVANTAGE: Lethal Weapon

ANALYSIS:

• I know lots of people hold a cult candle to 48 Hours, one which I could never really share; I did watch the film back in the 80s as an action-fan teen, but it never did anything for me, and much less its absolutely shitty and greedy sequel. Granted it set up Eddie Murphy for what could've been a kick-ass movie career (wow did THAT fail after a few films...) but there's no memorable quote, no stand-out performance, and no great interest to revisit. When a "blockbuster" only has one sequel and no remake on the horizon, well...'nuff said. As for director Walter Hill, the guy made one good film (The Warriors) and most of the rest is so forgettable he even had his name removed from one (Supernova).
• Lethal Weapon, on the other hand, is textbook 80s Action Fare at its best. An iconic anti-hero lead, a catchphrase already welded into pop culture history (I'm too old for this s**t), action sequences we never tire of re-wathcing and THREE sequels, not to mention Mel and Dan alwasy being asked about another one even if they're too...well you know. And the director? Richard Friggin Donner, the guy behind The Goonies, Superman, Ladyhawk, Maverick, Scrooged and much more.

WINNER: LETHAL WEAPON

R.I.P Juan Pedro Felipo De Huevos Epstein

http://www.imdb.com/news/ni21749114/

I grew up watching this show in reruns, and again late at night on CBC during my college years. Hard to believe Juan was 60 already. Makes me fell really old to see one of the sweathogs passing away. Thanks for the laughs, Chico!

REVIEW: Haywire (2012)

So I just finished watching The Boob Identity (sorry...just had to), and I have to say that is one strange beast which I honestly can't decide exactly what Soderberg was trying to do with - take a crack at deconstructing action movies or step into Tarantino's 70s-tribute arena. I did like it, but again can't really decide why.

Allow me to to break off here before going any further so I can lay down a high praise for the only piece of CG effect in the whole film: Gina Carano's ample torso. She's got a cute smile which she uses a lot since other acting skills sadly elude her, but really, who cares, those bad boys steal the whole freaking show from start to finish. I mean really, those gigantic carumbas should get arrested for violating the laws of gravity - they NEVER budge! She runs half the movie and fights every which way the rest but come what may her spectacular bronskis stay perfectly still and straight. Even more mind boggling, a scene where she takes a bad fall sees her landing flat on her back instead her nature-issued air bags... Dude, Hurley could bounce off these Tommy Knockers! USE them, smother someone, break down a door, something! Ok, I'm done, promised. So,...

Go-Go Gadget Helium Balloons!

The story is pretty much straight forward and doesn't really need to be picked off a Pulitzer winner's brain; it's an action movie about a covert spy betrayed by her own who goes on the run trying to figure out who burned her and why. Ergo every spy/action thriller for the last 25 years. But really, it's a chance for Steven Soderberg to yet again explore a movie genre unfamiliar to him, and to have MMA superstar Gina Carano mop the floor with an array of Hollywood pretty boys. and that in a nutshell is your storyline.

Tech wise, it's everything you've come to expect from The Sod, which isn't a bad thing at all. The guy is renowned to be comfortable using a steady cam by his own damn self to great effect, and makes creative use of discoloration and lighting to amphisize on the action taking place. Even his use of music, which as I said reminded me a whole lot of Quentin, is edited in a sparse manner too seldom seen in Hollywood. This isn't James Cameron trying once again to push the limits and reinvent movies, this is an acclaimed indie director using his whole bag of tricks to have himself some fun.

Where that 70's thing fails though is in casting the multiple -albeit short- male supporting roles. Carano, even during her fighting scenes (which she should excel at) looks rehearsed and guided and obviously worried she might humiliate a famous hunk by defacing him, which is exactly what low-grade actionners looked like in the 70s, so perfect match. BUT you got Ewan McGregor who couldn't turn in a lame performance even if he tried, Banderas who shines by his mere presence and by one simple stare reminds men how jealous we all are of his incredibly successful pick-up line which no chick can resist -Hi, I'm Antonio Banderas- And Michael Fassbender is Michael friggin Fassbender, the fastest rising star of this young decade. Mike Douglas phones it in but he's Mike Douglas so who cares,  while Bill Paxton never has to break a sweat to be too cool for school, even if now playing a dad to a full gorwn adult. That leaves Channing GI Joe Tatum the only one who looks as cheezy as the film seems to require, and not necessarily in a voluntary manner...

Begbie says hi, biotch!

Agreed that when you headline your film with a complete unknown to film audiences, you surround her with famous and popular faces. But in this case it just ruins the film; go indie or go Hollywood, chose one because the difference between the two is this case is canyon the size of Gina Carano's cleavage (honestly, somebody stop me!). Still though, Soderberg stays focused on making this a fun ride and avoids overdoing the rest, which is enough to overlook the principle flaw. Overall interesting and entertaining movie, but I do wish he'd gone with an entirely unknown cast. Wouldn't pay to see this in theatres, but I probably will check out the DVD release.

Final Word: 7.5/10

"He went a little funny in the head..."

Having an irritating night at work, needed a spot of this here to cheer me up. 

One of the greatest comedic performances in the funniest scene from one of the greatest films of all time.

MOVIE MARQUEE SHOWDOWN #1: Equilibrium vs The Matrix

STARS AND SUPPORT:

• The Matrix: Keanue Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Joey Pants, Hugo Weaving, Carrie Ann Moss. Reeves was the only "Name" in there back in '99, and as mono-faced as he can be he still was a pretty big name. Joey Pants is as solid as they come but never was nor is a box-office draw. Fishburne was a respected actor but became an actual star thanks to this film, and so did Weaving and Moss. Where the hell is she these days anyway? Today though, that would be a powerhouse cast.
• Equilibrium: Christian Bale, Angus MacFadyen, Taye Diggs, Sean Bean, Emily Watson, William Fichtner. Bale has been around and praised since childhood but only got big after American Psycho, and still wasn't as big as Reeves even if a better actor in spades he'll always be. Bean, Watson and Fichtner make no more than cameos, and Bean is the only star of the lot. As for MacFadyen and Diggs, although both of them great additions to any movie, neither ever reached stardom before or since.
• ADVANTAGE: THE MATRIX (If only for Weaving - a much more memorable villain than MacFadyen, at least in this)

BOX-OFFICE:

• The Matrix: Budgeted at $63M, made $171M domestic plus $292M international with a per theatre average of $9,7k, for a total theatrical take o f$463M or a 252% return on the initial investment. 
• Equilibrium: Budget estimated at $20M, made $1.2M domestic plus $4.1M international with a per theatre average of $1,8k. But then again, Miramax Weinstein-era distributed...
• ADVANTAGE: THE MATRIX

REVIEW RATINGS

• The Matrix: Box-Office Mojo=B+, Rotten Tomatoes=86% Fresh, IMDb=8.7, Roger Ebert=3/5
• Equilibrium: Box-Office Mojo=B, Rotten Tomatoes=36% Fresh, IMDb=7.8, Roger Ebert=3/5
• ADVANTAGE: THE MATRIX

 ANALYSIS:

• The Matrix took us all by storm and changed the landscape for action movies, not to mention the philosophical ramifications of man versus the technology he created. The two-part shitty sequel aside, it was and still is one of the best sci-fi action films ever made with a high rewatchability factor.
• Equilibrium looked and felt like an independent film, but a kick-ass one. It did however suffer froma lack of pace, and borrowed a little too much from 1984 and BRAVE NEW WORLD. The gun-kata scenes do however constitue some of the most impressive practical-effect fight scenes ever brought to the big screen.

 WINNER: The Matrix, by way of big-budget push.

REVIEW: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

2010 Thriller, Drama, Mystery

Starring:  Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, Benedict Cumberbatch

Written by Bridget O'Conner, Peter Straughan

Directed by Tomas Alfredson

Hollywood adapting a beloved, highly acclaimed novel is like George Lucas putting out another Star Wars project: you know you're just gonna run home and burn the shit out of your Chewbacca comforter. Especially in this case since it already WAS adapted into an equally -if not even more- beloved mini-series topped by an iconic performance from sir Alec Guiness. But this is a restrained British effort from Working Title handled by the Swedish equivalent of Steven Soderbergh; definitely not in Kansas anymore.

A secret operation to uncover a mole in the highest level of British Intelligence goes horribly wrong and puts a top British spy in the hands of the enemy, so someone must swing. The head of "The Circus", a man known only as Control, and his right hand George Smiley are nonchalantly pushed out into retirement for uselessly causing an international incident. But when rogue spy Ricky Tarr reappears and appeals directly to a government official that Control was right about a mole high up in his lair, Smiley is forced back in the game to finish what his mentor started. 

Daft Punk: The Metamucil Years

A new adaptation of the story could've gone wrong so many ways had the key elements not been met with such gusto. No actual action scenes are ever shown and what little of it appears is done with astonishing realism, while the music is anything but conventional for a spy thriller, closing all of the lingering storylines with a montage under Julio Iglesias' French version of Bobby Darrin's Somewhere Beyond the Sea. Props and sets could perfectly serve as a documentary to how bleak and dirty everything was in the mid-70s, and the cherry on top is to never -ever- show even a glimpse of the evil mastermind behind everything, the Russian spymaster Karla. 

None of it matters though if George Smiley can't meet the standards set by Sir Alec.  The choice of Gary Oldman seems awkward when considering the junkie cop from "The Professionnal" or the dog-morphing wizard who escaped Azkaban. But Oldman, deservedly one of the greatest chameleons of his generations, goes as far as making us wish we'd see him done the lightsaber and advise a couple of stormtroopers to look for those droids elsewhere. He makes the character entirely his own, while never forgetting who played it before him. This IS George Smiley, but underneath the confident yet distanced old man we can glimpse under his eyes a cold calculating bastard no one would ever wish to go one on one with.

"I can't go when you're looking at me"...

And Gare-bear isn't left alone to his own device, here surrounded by an head-spinning array of very cool names and/or talents, all of them A-list leading men in their own rights, here mostly assigned to small roles that each of them make pivotal and unforgettable. Ciaran Hinds as a silent doorstop, John Hurt as a once-important man now on the fringes of senelity, Toby Jones as slef-important weasel, Tom Hardy as a blond - yes, BLOND- disgruntled spy, Benedict Cumberbatch as a white collar you wouldn't wanna mess with and newly-minted superstar Colin Firth as an unrepentant adulterer all make this small film into an incredibly huge deal. 

As for the story, of course things have to be cut or radically compressed to fit a fluvial book into a 2-hour film, yet little of it is truly missed here if only to make the plot a little more clear. Tomas Alfredson, still hot-off the press from his acclaimed offering of Let the Right One In (the original one, that is...) very wisely used the Cold War as a character and not a setting, which allows his actors to truly carry the atmosphere and use wits and verbs as lethally as Jason Bourne can use a fountain pen as a jackknife. Pyrotechnics, CGI and tween heartthrobs never appeared so useless as they do here, in a clear and definite exposé of why turds movies like Transformers or Twilight can never truly dislodge true, riveting storytelling at its best. 

Final Word: 9/10

Back in the Saddle

Back at blogging, for those who like my verbal floggings. Can't believe it's been so long since I last posted! Look for my reviews, news, and occasional recipe for hangovers in the coming days and weeks!

The City of Willie & Jackie

The strain of his accomplishment was often blamed for Jackie Robinson’s precarious death, looking 20 years older than he was when expiring at age 53. Of his own admission, what kept him going all through his arduous pro career, aside from paving the way for future generations of African Americans athletes, is remembering the way he had been treated when spending a season with the Dodger’s farm team, the Montreal Royals. The race question was a much less thorny one in Canada during the mid-forties, and having the first black player in decades with their team was no great taboo for the Royals fans, unless he wasn’t any good. Jackie was welcomed with open arms from the get go, and he paid it back generously by leading his team to win the 1946 Little World Series.

When the final championship game was won that year, Robinson had to leave the stadium running for his life, chased down the streets by a sheer mob of baseball fanatics. Reporter Sam Maltin then described it as probably the first time in history that a black man was pursued by a white crowd with love on their mind. 11-year-old African-Canadian Willie O’Ree would remember that scene just as vividly as once meeting the man himself, and the city in which he did.

 Growing up in Canada during the 1940s meant treating Hockey as one would religion itself, and religion was an integral part of every day life back then. In THAT disciplin rather than Baseball, Willie O'Ree was quite the athlete. Now that a black man could aspire to join the “big boys” thanks to Jackie Robinson, the young man spent his teens perfecting his play among amateur leagues until scoring a farm-team contract with the NHL’s Boston Bruins in the 1950s. The treat made him the second black player drafted in the majors after Art Dorrington of the New York Rangers franchise, though neither of them had been invited on an NHL rink yet, and O’Ree’s hopes to do so came close to tumbling down in 1956. A slap shot landing the puck on his right eye made it 95% blind, a handicap synonymous with instant-retirement to professional athletes. For Willie however, it simply meant putting double the efforts to overcome and conceal his significant disability.


Before 1967, only 6 teams populated the NHL, making strong rivalries between two teams much more common and often elevated to the point of quasi-blood feuds. For the Boston Bruins, losing a star player to an injury the day before a big game against mortal enemies the Montreal Canadians was unacceptable, and meant replacing him with the best player located as near as possible. The very situation happened on January 18th 1958, as the nearest Bruins farm team was the Aces, three hours away in Québec city. And the star player on that team, the one called up to play in Montreal, was a young stick of dynamite named Willie O’Ree.

It probably would have been nice for him to score in his team’s shut-out victory, but the true significance of the game for O’Ree, the spectators and the league in general, is to have been part of another historical first in pro sports history, the first NHL game to see a black player on the ice. He only played once more with the Bruins that year, and returned during the 1961 season, his last playing the NHL, for 43 more games. Ironically, 43 is the age at which he finally retired from Hockey in 1978, having followed his Bruins gig with many seasons in the defunct Western Hockey League and other semi-pro circuits.

History might have been made in 1958; it still had to wait for society to catch up. Only 16 years later would other black players be drafted in the NHL, but mostly because much fewer of them are interested in the sport than, say, Baseball…50 years to the day after the fateful Bruins-Canadiens game, a special ceremony was held by the Boston team in honor or Willie O’Ree, an opportunity to launch, in their Arena’s New England Sports Museum, an exhibit covering the player’s Hockey Career and historical contribution.

Today, even in his 70s, Willie O’Ree still dwells in the Hockey world, notably writing a Q&A column for the official NHL website and coaching at hockey camps for kids. And every time he talks about his first big game, he never fails to mention that it happened in front of the people who had welcomed Jackie Robinson with open arms.

REVIEW: From Paris with Love

2010 Action
Starring:  John Travolta, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Kasia Smutniak
Written by Adi Hasak, Luc Besson
Directed by Pierre Morel

With the first trailer I saw of From Paris with Love –heck, from the first I heard of the film period- my thoughts were Complete Waste of Time and Money; Travolta? No thanks. Besson Producing? Empty stunts display. Pierre Morel, I admit, stunned me with the very effective and cool Taken. But I still went into this one, kicking and screaming. MAN was I on the wrong track!

Story follows planted agency academic James Reece who’s biding his time posing as an Embassy aide in France while doing boring support assignments until he gets the big call. Which comes in the form of Charlie Wax, an over-the-top “cleaner” who’s gun-blazing methods leave Reece hanging on the edge of his wits by turning a simple driving job into a full-on war of two against hundreds.

My one mistake for putting off on this one –and without interest- was trusting the opinion of Roger Ebert who pretty much laid down how the film’s marketing made me feel. Lots of respect for the big guy whom I constantly quote in saying a review is nothing more than one person’s opinion, but in this case I’ll counter-quote with my buddy Biggeoff’s saying: we’re not movie critics, we’re movie lovers, and I strongly feel Ebert watched too many movies to just appreciate the pure fun of something like this. Not an Oscar winner by any means, but completely out-of-the-blue entertainment and thrill ride.

I never thought I’d be writing this again after the last decade and some, but the film’s greatest strength is John friggin Travolta, who plays as many tricks on the audience as his character does his partner. All throughout the film he sets us up to believe him the usual American action film cowboy cliché but keeps spinning it out at the last second to reveal something else entirely; his messing around with the genre echoes the same of the entire movie. This isn’t a grudge film about a dark anti-hero out to face his demons because of a bad upbringing or any traumatic s**t that happened to him; it’s simply a guy who absolutely loves what he does and does it better than anyone: blowing bad-guy brains out. Simple as that.

Sounds idiotic and mindless except the execution is so well paced and anti-conventional while following the usual basic rules that from the first twist Charlie Wax pulls on us we’re completely taken into his ride and are left wanting for more. Co-star Jonathan Rhys-Meyers does the smart thing in emulating the audience – just going along from hit to hit, without over-acting and like Trav avoiding clichés of a character played out thousands of time on the screen.

The “big” plot twist I have to admit seeing from a mile away – literally, I knew what it was 5 minutes into the film. But by the time it actually happened I didn’t care anymore, I was having too much fun enjoying an actual Travolta performance of guts and fun to care about criticizing this thing. So much that the ending, which obviously points to an eventual franchise, left me sad knowing it was over AND that the film’s quite poor box-office will not allow such a sequel to happen. Although it’s a Besson film and not a Hollywood profit excuse, so who knows, maybe Charlie Wax will dazzle me again.

I really wish Travolta had turned down most of the crap he’s been doing since his initial career resurgence as Vincent Vega and Chilli Palmer 16 years ago; movies like this one would probably have had a much better chance of being appreciated without prejudice.  But no, he had to sign on for Wild Hogs 2... come on dude – leave the Disney waste behind and give us more of Charlie Wax! My two cents: I’ll take From Paris with Love over every Tony Scott waste of celluloid any day of the week.

Final Word: 8/10

REVIEW: Ninja Assassin

2010 Action/Martial Arts

Starring:  Rain, Naomie Harris, Rick Yune, Sho Kosugi, Ben Miles

Written by Matthew Sand

Directed by James McTiegue
Back in the 80s of my childhood, a spectacular idiot once asked me why I liked that era’s cheesy Ninja movies so much.  “But dear brother,” I told him, “it’s because they’re extremely fun”. Were I to in any way still dwell around that particular person today, I sadly would not defend Ninja Assassin with such gusto.

In the politically correct setting of Europol, a nosy department researcher does what no one else in a millennia could’ve: uncover a secret network or traditional high-priced assassins called Ninjas. Such a discovery would bring her quick death if it wasn’t for protection from a rogue member of the organisation bent on tearing it down. And that is the story, not even in a nutshell...

It had been a long time since international audiences were treated to an actual bona fide (and good) Ninja film, and a big-budget one with the Wachowski siblings and Joel silver producing sounds mighty sweet on paper; suffice it to say I wanted to like it. But what I got was the Ninja equivalent of Star trek The Motion Picture: a 10-minute story for a 2-hour movie. Even worse, it caters to the Twilight crowds with quasi permanence of the star’s 6-pack onscreen!

Speaking of him, I can’t say I know much about Koeran super-star Rain (come one dude – even Leaf Phoenix kept enough brain cells to swap for a normal name) but from watching the film I CAN tell three things. One: the dude’s had a 2-day crash course in English which allows him to flatten-out the few funny bits in his already scarce lines. Two: even a guy can’t help be amazed by the sweetness of the sweat on his perfect abs. And three: the guy has low-to-no chemistry with his lovely co-star Naomie Harris. Sad for her; she’s good enough to have deserved better exposure.

Casting-wise, the film does one thing absolutely right in bringing back 80s genre icon Shô Kosugi. The veteran actor demonstrates a confidence onscreen and impressive moves for a guy his age that made me wonder why the heck he hadn’t done a movie in 17 years. His memorable villain makes the other antagonist, the perpetually typecast Ricky Yun, look like a cardboard cut-out – who even whimpers when he’s about to get killed. Fearless Ninja, riiiiight...

As for fight scenes –it IS a Ninja movie after all- no hesitation in saying they are quite spectacular. I least I guess they are; sometimes hard to make things out in the permanently dark settings punctuated by over-CG’d blood spurts. Kudos to Quentin for going low-fi with Kill Bill’s haemoglobin! Superb choereography still, but serves only to point out the non-existence of any sort of story. Half the film consists in rapidly-annoying flashbacks to the hero’s harsh training while the rest is both leads running from other Ninjas for God knows what reason.

If made for $15M by an upstart director, I probably would’ve been lighter on the sarcasm and heavier on the praise since the film does give a high-octane does of gory martial. But coming from James McTiegue with the Wach sibs and Warner behind him, I expected a lot more quality – or at least a really entertaining film. Neither were present in the screening room when I was.

Story has it the Wachowskis, unhappy with the shooting script, asked the great J. Michael Starczinsky to rewrite it all a mere 6 weeks before production start. Easy to guess what Mike wrote: His name, on the back of a check to endorse it. No other explanation as to how this awesome writer’s involvement couldn’t churn out better results.
Final Word: 5/10

REVIEW: Tenure

2010 Dramatic Comedy

Starring:  Luke Wilson, Gretchen Moll, David Koechner, Bob Gunton

Written by Mike Million

Directed by Mike Million
 
You never should have very high expectations for a straight-to-DVD release, unless it’s a labor of love from an indie director who hand-picked passionate performers and previously went the festivals route. Still not Big Studio aesthetics, but sometimes you find a little gem that you’d like to keep around on your shelf to wash away some turgid Gerard Butler rom-com or other.

After over a decade of teaching in various colleges and always being denied tenure, Charlie Thurber feels he’s facing his ultimate chance with the rural college he’s been at for 3 years. Before reaching his goal though, he’ll need to deal with an over-imposing best friend, a very demanding father and an attractive new department rival.

To be honest I thought Luke Wilson had washed out since he hasn’t been a key player in a major release for a long time –save for an awesome cameo in the equally awesome 3:10 to Yuma. But seeing him chew his scenery in this one indicates the dude simply wanted to keep to the kind of smaller and more heartfelt projects that made him in the first place, like Bottle Rocket or Rushmore. Probably doesn’t help that he always plays Luke Wilson or a close variation, but when the part calls for it he’s a charismatic watch.

The rest of the cast fits equally just as well, especially the great Bob Gunton (Put your faith in the Lord,  your a** belongs to me!) easily given here his best role since Greg The Bunny got prematurely trashed.  Gretchen Moll’s warm and gorgeous smile is a welcome sight, and Sasha Alexander’s small part again begs the question why she’s never given bigger ones.  Only stumbling block is David Koechner, who’s made such a complete a career at portraying annoying dimwits that he just ruins it for me whenever he appears in a film. What can I say – he rubs me the wrong way! Even more in this case as way too much time is devoted to his ill-advised antics than to the more interesting rivalry/friendship between Wilson and Moll’s characters.

That might also be the film’s ultimate short-coming; setting and scope promise an interesting inner look at not only college life viewed from the teacher’s eyes, but at the choices offered and made as one’s thirties start weighing with the knowledge that dreams and and exuberance of younger days are long gone. It should be about still learning to grown up when you’ve stopped growing a while ago, but instead it’s mostly about a poor shmoe trying to save his career and salvage his life while everybody else either help badly or not at all.

On the other  hand, ill-fated comedy aside. The viewer is treated to a slice of life in a microcosm of a small town that recalls fantastic (and admittedly greater) Nobody’s Fool  -  movie and book.  Many pit falls are side-stepped to avoid veering into insidious rom-com territory and even some of the annoyances can still come off as sweet and quietly inspiring. Especially the end twist, which honestly I should’ve seen coming but didn’t, all to the greater advantage of the film.

Tenure ultimately feels and looks like a very-small budgeted movie intended for shelves, but as shuch fares muc h better than most other entries in that same situation. It turns out the kind of film to keep close by on a shelf to be re-watched whenever the mood feels right for something sweet, mild and warm. And in any case, a good first effort f by director Mike Million. I do recommend checking it out when it hits the stores on April 13. Or right now at Blockbuster exclusively. Yeah, they're still opened - I was surprised too!

Final Word: 7.5/10

REVIEW: Percy Jackson/The Lightning Thief

2010 Fantasy/Adventure

Starring:  Logan Lerman, Alexandra Daddario, Brandon T. Jackson, Pierce Brosnan

Written by Craig Titley, Chris Columbus

Directed by Chris Columbus

The Lightning Thief isn’t so much entertaining as it is distracting, from watching the three young stars constantly trying to figure out what they should be doing due to a quite apparent lack of proper direction. Can’t say I blame them; they showed up thinking they’d be doing a Percy Jackson film but found themselves on the set of “Chris Columbus Does PG Fantasy for the Twilight Crowd”. Be advised: I did not like the film. 

Stuck in a middle class life he hates, trouble student Percy Jackson learns from meeting a nefarious creature (his teacher...) that he is the son of the Greek sea God and is targeted by other Gods as having stolen Zeus’ mighty thunderbolt. But that doesn’t matter to him ‘cause his mom was abducted by the Underworld dude. The young man will race on a quest to find her before all Olympus break loose. Or someone notices his 5 o’clock shadow.

From the get-go, Percy Jackson has been fingered by all as a Fox’s attempt to secure some Harry Potter business. But Percy isn’t a Potter knock-off; he comes from a book written 11 years before the first potter was published and jumped in a movie that believes its own self unworthy of a franchise, so much that most of the plot points from the book are nowhere to be found, and the story ends on a note which inspires little care if another of those is ever made. Even though the initial novel sets up the next 4 quite beautifully.

The film’s run time of about 100 minutes seems to forbid cast and crew to develop plot and characters in favour of a pace that moves things along at all cost. Visuals are stunning and the action keeps coming, but lots of it makes little sense, save for the characters – we don’t know WHY they’re haulin’ a**, but they sure are! Half the film is devoted to set up the rest, but none of it deserves much attention, nor $95M in financing. 

Casting could’ve turned that tide, especially one that looks so cool on paper, but only once or twice has this one got it right; Pierce Brosnan as the benevolent teacher and guide Chiron is pretty much the best thing in the film, albeit of extremely short presence. The rest of ‘em are no match for a hasty script and eye-candy direction; Sean bean as Zeus sounds cool but looks so bored it hurts, just as Kevin McKidd offers quite a wimpy Poseidon for such a square-jaw actor. Steve Coogan, I fear not in saying this, must be glad a third Museum film will soon come to wash out his pitiful Hades (shoulda taken notes from James Woods’ voice work in the Disney ani), and the actual villain is a such a de-clawed dork that even my gerbil could kick his butt. And my friggin gerbil’s dead!

As for star Logan Lerman, the kid’s got good looks and slick moves, but he’s just not what that character required; this hero should’ve had to discover and earn his valor, not pass Go and collect $200. If my Box-Office prediction continues to be true for this film, Lerman did well to knock on Sony’s door about Spiderman- Percy J might not be back in theatres anytime soon.

Of course my own dislike of the film comes from loving the books so much, and finding that most it was contradicted or disregarded –especially the incredible research and author Rick Riordan’s unique dialogs. But then again, should the guy who just previously directed I Love You Beth Cooper really be expected to bring on the next huge cash cow? 

The Lightning Thief isn’t such a bad film per se, but one that should’ve been superb , even with half the CG budget. We get instead a semi-cute PG action flick understandably dumped in the February wasteland and soon to find its place on discount shelves between Catch That Kid and Agent Cody Banks. *shivers*

 5.5/10

R.I.P Gene Barry

The Original Martian Repellent

When a huge celebrity of the hour overdoses on his toilet or crashes his SUV (...) every single media outlet on the planet makes a huge dish out of it and serves leftovers for weeks. But when a great of the past expires away quietly at an advanced age, nobody seems to care. Or does so much too late and improperly. Hence my writing about the passing today of a little-remembered but once-beloved actor, Eugene Klass aka Gene Barry, who died this Thursday December 10th of unknown circumstances. He was 80 years old.

Barry started out on his talent and scholarship as a local singing sensation, taking the radio and stage scene by storm in the 1940s until finally getting noticed by Hollywood in the early 1950s. A handful of small movie roles did little to elevate him nor make use of his vocal talent, save for a couple that fared poorly. One part however did secure a place for him in stardom: 1953's War of the Worlds, which he headlined as dr. Clayton Forrester.The part had originally been offered to Lee Marvin who declined; No offence to Marvin, but sci-fi fans are grateful...

His screen career on the rise, the actor is offered more TV work than he wished for, and reluctantly did he look at such offers until a proposal to portray real-life wild west lawman Bat Masterson, gentleman who relied on his wit and gold-adorned cane rather than guns to take criminals down. The show lasted only 3 season but reached cult status almost immediately, ensuring Barry a typecast yet long career on the tube.

In 1963 came his second TV hit, just a s short as the previous but equally beloved: Burke's Law saw Barry as a chief of detectives who also happens to be a wealthy playboy. The series' cult following inspired ABC to revive it in 1994, for an appreciated but unsuccessful single season. A third show followed, this one offering a much different and original format: The Name of the Game, where three series star would each in turn start in their own individual episode. Barry played newspaper owner Glenn Howard, with Robert Stack and Anthony Franciosa playing his star reporters. Again only 3 seasons, again beloved but little remembered.

14 years of playing the elegant justice-maker on the tube made it nearly impossible for him to break out on the big screen any longer nor to explore further series of his own on TV, and thus Gene spent the remaining of his career either guest-starring on shows or returning to his first true love, Broadway musicals, where he met with great success and recognition. By the end of the 1980s he all but retired, appearing only occasionally in TV shows when specially requested to do so. His last appearance was for Steven Spielberg's own adaptation of War of the Worlds in 2005, for a cameo that confirmed his status as the star to a sci-fi cult classic of Hollywood's Golden Era.

Who's Yoda-dee?

An oldie, but a goodie!






















The waitress, Jodee Berry, filed her lawsuit in October 2001. Settlement was reached in April 2002 and Berry was allowed to pick the Toyota of her choice. Representatives for her former employers claimed the contest was simply an April's Fool joke.

Disney's Horrific Princesses...

I can't really say why it's such an attraction to see someone take cute and cuddly icons of our childhood and make them dark and deranged, but it just is. I go with the flow. Although sometimes it's just not right - like Todd McFarlane's line of Oz toys - a half-nude Dorothy in S&M bondage is just a damaging sight...

Graphic artist Jeffrey Thomas is one of those who can get the "cool" out of such concepts though, even if it means turning Snow White into a much -MUCH- scarier vampire than Edward Cullen, or give Cinderella more than she bargained for once the chariot turns back to a pumpkin...

Here are a few of Jeff's creepy designs for Disney Princesses, with the rest OVER HERE.

 

 

 

 

Walt Disney thought suicide was funny!

It takes a special kind of humor to read Alix Strauss' recent book  Death Becomes Them: Unearthing the Suicides of the Brilliant, the Famous, and the Notorious, but probably not as much as it took to write it - the author offers enthusiastic accounts and analysis of suicides by celebrities of all artistic trade who took the self-imposed way out. So much that sometimes it almost feels like a DIY guide to emulating your idols... But as creepy as that sounds, there's even worse: the book tells of a period when Walt Disney thought it funny to make Mickey Mouse suicidal!

In the 1930s Mickey ran in newspapers alongside other comic strips, as written and drawn by Floyd Gottfredson and Hardie Gramatky. From October 8th through the 29th in 1930, the strip's storyline had Minnie dump Mickey for a douche named Mr. Slicker, leaving the poor mouse deeply depressed and trying different ways to off himself. And why did they run that strip? “I think it will be funny,” was what Gottfredson remembered being told by Uncle Walt himself who came up with the concept and pushed it.

Here are a few of those little "gems", if only to henceforth view Disney animated features in a different light...(click on each strip to see it full and large)