Approaching Hulu’s new horror/thriller series Helstrom without taking into account that the source material is published by Marvel comics will definitely help lower the expectation thus enjoy for what it is. Although there isn’t a whole lot to enjoy aside from the fact that all episodes came out at once (as it often happens in Stream Land) which contributed to kill a rainy weekend in style.
The story revolves around Ana & Daimon Helstrom, estranged siblings born of a serial-killing father and a mother who has spent the last 20 years padlocked in a mental institution. The mother because “something” has taken a hold of her, the father because he IS the one who lets those ‘somethings’ roam free. Both siblings, now grown and full of piss & vinegar, have retained from their parents certain abilities that they use to hunt things that go bump in the ceiling and all four walls.
Truth be told I never read the Helstrom comics, but according to what few reviews I did skim before bingeing, the apple was thrown clear from the orchard. Those looking for respite from the giant gaping hole left in our need of a Marvel TV fix since Netflix killed off their ‘Defenders’ shows and Hulu themselves pulled the plug on teen-centric Runaways and Cloak & Dagger, will not be given much satisfaction. The trailer attracted me for making me think I would be treated to a mash-up of The X-Files and American Gothic, but this was less Mulder & Scully and more Bummer & Sulky.
Mind you I still enjoyed watching it, in the same way I enjoy a Chinese buffet. It’s not really good but there’s lots of everything and I’m hungry. I will give GIANT kudos to whoever decided to not HBO their show into a Blood & Nudity extravaganza; Lots of shows everyone praise have lost me after a short while for having rested too much on the appeal of nipples and bits and bits and bits. Here not a breast in sight, and the only romantic moment was killed pretty quickly. BUT it was killed PREDICTABLY. And that is the show’s greatest failing.
Producers went for a refreshingly unknown cast for the main characters, and surrounded them with players who are long overdue their moment in the sun; Elizabeth Marvel gave me the chills like few could since Louise Fletcher, and Robert Wisdom has no difficulty carving his own place among the Fishburn-Freeman-Braugher stereotype of the badass black sage who mentors the young “heroes”. Also a back-pat to Alain Uly who plays the Renfield archetype with a rare and welcome retenue.
But try as they may, none of the players can manage to make us care about their characters. Most of their traits and developments are cliché only less than the tired, predictable and terrible lines of dialogue they are bogged down with. Yes, Ana is a badass woman of power, but does she really have to talk like she’s a masculine cliché from the lower shelves of a late-80 video store? It becomes downright infuriating -not to mention distracting- when you the viewer can say where each should have been good but was not because atmosphere relies on a jump scare you see coming from behind Mr Magoo’s glasses or the dialogue was written by an random pick form a stinky hat fill of all terrible action-movie one-liners.
Let me be clear: I was entertained by Helstrom. I didn’t hate it, at least not nearly as much as most review sites out there did, and it did make for a fun binge on a 3-nights weekend. But it didn’t stay with me when I was done the way Trinkets or Stranger Things or Dark did. To reprise the Chinese buffet analogy, I felt like I had just eaten a fortune cookie; you enjoy it, but what’s inside isn’t sustaining, nor interesting. If anything it serves as a reminder that if Kevin Feige didn’t touch it, it isn’t Marvel Gold.
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