Sunday, August 12, 2012

REVIEW: Total Recall (2012)

If this poster reminds you of Duncan Jones' brilliant mind trip flick Source Code, there the similarities end. This far no further.

Because when you remake a movie that was itself VERY loosely adapted from a cult-classic sci-fi short story instead of re-adapting the original story, you have to expect ending up more on the Uwe Boll side of the sci-fi/fantasy spectrum than the Stanley Kubrick one.And "Doctor" Boll will very much like this one: this movie is little more than a 104-minute video game. A crying shame for Colin Farrel who was on the comeback trail these last 2-3 years, but has so far failed to carry a film to both financial and critical success at the same time. I loved -LOVED- his turn on the Fright Night revisit, but that one barely made it out of the gate.

My generic dislike of the film doesn't stem from the fact that it's a remake -I'd completely respect the intention if it had brought something fresh and imaginative to the table- but from he fact that it's not even a clever, original or creative remake in any way. The 1990 Paul Verhoven film was B-Movie with lots of money, a fun, cheesy, amped up star vehicle that never once makes the mistake perpetrated by its unworthy progeny: It refused to take itself seriously. Len Wiseman, the American response to U.K.'s Paul W.S. Anderson (ironically, Anderson married an American walking plank while Wiseman stole boobelicious Beckinsale form the old continent, and her then-husband) tries to make the kitsch classic look and feel like Blade Runner, but ends up just north of entertaining. There's no humor, no weird, gross out shlock moments (a three-breasted tribute to the original fails to illicit any kind of reaction, good or bad) and no reason to care either way about those people. Although Kate Beckinsale, as the bitchiest bad babe since Kristen Stewart's rant against her own fans, does steal the show whenever she can.

And entertaining it is, relentless as well. From start to finish the film bombards us with incessant futuristic set designs and costly, spectacular visuals, including the two female leads whom the demo-target teen boys know as being among the sexiest ladies on the planet. When ti comes to actual plot points and storytelling, the exercise falls way short of even trying and thus makes this summer entry little-more than forgettable eye-candy which I wouldn't recommend paying $13.50 to see. Although it it impressive on a big screen I must say, but after 30 minute you start wishing someone else than the F/X guys had been paid to write the damn thing. Just wait until it comes to cable, and in the meantime have fun with Lockout instead.

Final Word: 4 out of 10

1 comment:

  1. You never miss a chance to stump on Kstew about that retard thing!! Lolll, way to go!!!