REVIEW: The Kid Detective (2020)

 

I honestly did not know what to expect from The Kid Detective when I saw the poster pop online. I was hoping it would be a Canadian Canadian movie, not a shameful attempt at emulating an American movie; no offense to my homies Yves Simoneau & Erik Canuel, but if you wanna do American then move down south (to be fair Simoneau did…). And I have to say, my hopes were fulfilled far enough to cover my lack of expectation.

Abe Applebaum, played by the very underrated Adam Brody, used to be a prodigy in his small town for his premature deducting skills. Before he could even drive he already had his private detective agency complete with a downtown office where, for a quarter, he would solve kid-level mysteries. But after a teen girl disappeared and teen Abe failed to solve such a real case, his life went sideways, and adult Abe now 32, still clings to his amateur-sleuth practice while the world has moved on. When a teenager ends up stabbed 17 times and his girlfriend comes to Abe for answers, can he finally grow up enough to be the man he dreamed to be as a kid and solve all that needs to be solved?

Right off the bat the movie strikes the viewer for NOT being striking; American audiences will see in it a patched-up TV pilot that failed to find a series order, Canadians will see a character study that cynically uses comedy to paint a picture of childhood trauma. Because a trauma is what Abe truly has to deal with; an entire town enabled him to live out a fantasy, then shoved at him the very loud crash of reality. A very masterful restraint from headliner Brody skillfully avoids clichés of a disheveled & pathetic PI while exploring why they became such clichés. After a teen informant sends Abe a wild goose chase, he comes back with a trouncing so awkward and uptight even Bogey must have smiled from the grave.

A metaphor for the pains of looking back, if there ever was one…

Neither a thriller nor a comedy, the film offers great -if simple- moments of pathos that surprisingly remain while suddenly exploding into a dark climax. It matters little how many Ex Machinas it took for older Abe to fulfill younger Abe’s promise, once he does solve the case it neither feels like victory nor defeat; it feels like coming head-to-head with the consequences of pain too-long buried. In that, this very humble, low-cost movie shines above any that copped-out of being released in a year filled with nothing BUT anxiety: PTSD isn’t reserved for battlefield soldiers, it affects everyone who lives through a trauma, and letting a child put the weight of the world on his own shoulders leaves him with deep scars.

A very comfortable cast of players surround the once-teen heartthrob; a growing Sophie Nelisse (who broke-out in Oscar darling The Book Thief) as Abe’s latest client, a gorgeously-ageing Wendy Crewson as Abe’s overprotective mother, and respectable veteran Peter MacNeill in a performance that left me downright shaken. All of them shine in their acting choice to let the real star shine; Adam Brody, in an ironically sober tour de force (his character is always drinking or snorting yet never feels like a drunkard or junkie) carries the whole thing solidly on his shoulders.

I couldn’t help being reminded of investigation dramedies that Canadian Television does so well yet rarely does anymore, where a character resolves their lives alongside a mystery, like Danger Bay, Seeing Things, The Edison Twins or Due South. Which is probably why so many will invoke the aforementioned feeling of it looking like an aborted small screen project. But I do invite any viewer to watch it the way I did: no expectation, and hope it’s good. Because it is.

TV REVIEW: Helstrom (2020 Hulu)

 

Approaching Hulu’s new horror/thriller series Helstrom without taking into account that the source material is published by Marvel comics will definitely help lower the expectation thus enjoy for what it is. Although there isn’t a whole lot to enjoy aside from the fact that all episodes came out at once (as it often happens in Stream Land) which contributed to kill a rainy weekend in style.

The story revolves around Ana & Daimon Helstrom, estranged siblings born of a serial-killing father and a mother who has spent the last 20 years padlocked in a mental institution. The mother because “something” has taken a hold of her, the father because he IS the one who lets those ‘somethings’ roam free. Both siblings, now grown and full of piss & vinegar, have retained from their parents certain abilities that they use to hunt things that go bump in the ceiling and all four walls.

I have a beard, a hummer, and a thousand yard stare. I must be on TV.

Truth be told I never read the Helstrom comics, but according to what few reviews I did skim before bingeing, the apple was thrown clear from the orchard. Those looking for respite from the giant gaping hole left in our need of a Marvel TV fix since Netflix killed off their ‘Defenders’ shows and Hulu themselves pulled the plug on teen-centric Runaways and Cloak & Dagger, will not be given much satisfaction. The trailer attracted me for making me think I would be treated to a mash-up of The X-Files and American Gothic, but this was less Mulder & Scully and more Bummer & Sulky.

Mind you I still enjoyed watching it, in the same way I enjoy a Chinese buffet. It’s not really good but there’s lots of everything and I’m hungry. I will give GIANT kudos to whoever decided to not HBO their show into a Blood & Nudity extravaganza; Lots of shows everyone praise have lost me after a short while for having rested too much on the appeal of nipples and bits and bits and bits. Here not a breast in sight, and the only romantic moment was killed pretty quickly. BUT it was killed PREDICTABLY. And that is the show’s greatest failing.

Producers went for a refreshingly unknown cast for the main characters, and surrounded them with players who are long overdue their moment in the sun; Elizabeth Marvel gave me the chills like few could since Louise Fletcher, and Robert Wisdom has no difficulty carving his own place among the Fishburn-Freeman-Braugher stereotype of the badass black sage who mentors the young “heroes”. Also a back-pat to Alain Uly who plays the Renfield archetype with a rare and welcome retenue.

I chose the wrong day to visit Willie Wonka’s damn Factory…

But try as they may, none of the players can manage to make us care about their characters. Most of their traits and developments are cliché only less than the tired, predictable and terrible lines of dialogue they are bogged down with. Yes, Ana is a badass woman of power, but does she really have to talk like she’s a masculine cliché from the lower shelves of a late-80 video store? It becomes downright infuriating -not to mention distracting- when you the viewer can say where each should have been good but was not because atmosphere relies on a jump scare you see coming from behind Mr Magoo’s glasses or the dialogue was written by an random pick form a stinky hat fill of all terrible action-movie one-liners.

Let me be clear: I was entertained by Helstrom. I didn’t hate it, at least not nearly as much as most review sites out there did, and it did make for a fun binge on a 3-nights weekend. But it didn’t stay with me when I was done the way Trinkets or Stranger Things or Dark did. To reprise the Chinese buffet analogy, I felt like I had just eaten a fortune cookie; you enjoy it, but what’s inside isn’t sustaining, nor interesting. If anything it serves as a reminder that if Kevin Feige didn’t touch it, it isn’t Marvel Gold.

REVIEW: Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)

 

So I'm sitting here watching this movie because I feel I have to, less and less trying to keep an open mind nor trying to either remember who I was back when I adored those characters or defend their 'artistic' choices in my own head for an article I was less and less sure I'd be writing because who cares about Bill & Ted really, and then something funny happened. Not... I mean, ... I'm not about to launch into an arc here, I literally mean something funny happened. In the movie. Because so far not much had. Nor interesting, for that matter. But this, as simple and quick and probably not intended as it was, made me belt an out-loud chuckle.

Put a pin in that. Because it happened again. HA! And again. I mean you gotta give it up for a movie that drops the humor hammer on you 1 hour into its 90 minutes runtime. Respect to the headliners for letting it NOT be them who brought it. The thing is (yeah, ok, arc) now I'm actually enjoying this.

Quick recap for those not in the know. The film concerns Bill & Ted, two former teenage slackers who are now... adult. Slackers. Once, 31 years years ago, they were visited by Rufus the time traveler (George Carlin) who taught them that one day a song they write will unite the world, but they won't get there unless they pass their high school History presentation, so he gave them an 'American' Tardis and sent them through history so they could learn it proper. ly. Then 2 years later another future guy had clone robots of them send them to Hell where they met Death (William Sadler) and came back to life to play an 'Excellent' concert in front of 25K people. With Death playing bass.

But now, being middle-aged suburban dads who can't even pack half a seniors bingo hall, they still haven't written the damn song. Their co-dependence is driving away their Princesses wives, their grown daughters are turning into exact clones but with better musical taste, and reality is about to end, in like 75 minutes dude, unless they come up with that song once and for all. As they trip forward through time looking for future-thems who already wrote the song so they can "steal" it, a killer robot is sent after them (again...) in hopes that their nonexistence will prevent all nonexistence.

"Dudes, what if we're all part of a computer simulation..."

Truth be told I haven't watched Excellent Adventure in over 15 years, and I only watched sequel Bogus Journey twice; didn't like it nearly as much, but William Sadler solidly planted Death's feet as one of the most hilarious supporting characters of the 1990s, and himself rightly became a fixture of movies from that decade. I probably will not rewatch either for fear they won't hold up, same reason I was weary of watching the very late threequel: the trailer showed me a Bill and a Ted that still go "Woa, Dude!" and somehow 46 year-old me don't find that funny, or charming, or anything positive. And that point alone, as I somewhat reluctantly launched into the film, kept grating at me.

So those 2 keep meeting older and older versions of themselves who are increasingly worse losers, which is more depressing than funny; you're middle-aged and already feel like a failure and keep seeing that it only degenerates the further you go. So by now I'm really not enjoying this film. But then the killer robot makes a mistake: the daughters when through time as well to gather the greatest jammers of all (Mozart, Hendrix, a drumming cavewoman whom God knows how they heard of) but when they come back with their new friends they get accidentally lasered to death. And sent to Hell. And the robot... panics. THAT. Is when the funny starts.

Initially a terminator-type cold-stone killer, this robot suddenly shows he's a robot only on the outside: when he talks and doesn't sound robotic, he sounds like a dweeb. Who feels bad. And whose voice is incredibly similar to the hilarious bald guy on Barry (because HE IS!). And the further he opens his mouth the funnier the film gets, because he does eventually find his targets at which point he tells them his name. Over and over. I mean, his name is really important to him. And it's so friggin hilarious I won't spoil it here. But you start realizing the movie was not missing someone funny, it's someone funny enough for the 2 leads to showcase away from themselves. One of those had just arrived.

And then they break out the Big Gun. Death.

"I'm starting to wonder why I live down in Hell when you try so hard to replicate it up here!"

The moment Bill Sadler appears, he friggin steals the whole show. With one simple combination of German accent (kids, go on Wikipedia and look-up Ingmar Bergman if you wanna begin to understand) and body language, he makes me laugh out loud straight away, which I promise you is not easy because I am discreet as Hell and I laugh the way I die, on the inside. By then the whole thing starts to make sense, starts being funny, and dagnabbit starts being interesting. Keanu Reeves, one of the bigger stars on the planet, and his co-star who didn't need the paycheck because he's a respected producer and director, are using the platform that made them famous in order to let others shine. Starting with William Sadler, one of the most underrated actors of all time, and with Samara Weaving, niece of Reeves' Matrix nemesis Hugo Weaving (apparently she got the part of Bill's daughter when Reeves learned who she was).

Keep that in mind folks, because that's the key to the story, and the movie in every aspect, but I won't spoil it any further. Suffice it to say, as soon as the end credits rolled, which emphasize what I just illustrated and is amazing to no end (the boys called on the internet to submit 30-second video clips of themselves rocking out to a music clip from the film, with some of the clips being selected and used in the finished film), I felt like watching it again with the hindsight I now had.

Let's be honest, Bill & Ted Face the Music will not win any sort of award except maybe for best-ageing actors, but as reluctant as I was going into to it, the film gave me anything but what I was expecting. It looks simple of mind, but ends up giving the message we all most need RIGHT NOW. Watch it, you'll get it.

4 out of 5 Neos

FIRST LOOK - Cobra Kai 3

 

Feels right to say just "3" and not "Season 3" now that it found itself a nw home on Netflix. For all the quasi-criminal cancellations the streaming giant has perpetrated (Did you hear about Glow? Yeah, I'm lighting a candle too...), saving the sequel series to the original Karate Kid is an olive branch that feels to fans like a friggin giving tree: Season 4 is already a go!

For those outside the now-growing circle, Cobra Kai is a venture of the now-defunct You-Tube Red, an attempt by Google at Pokemoning the video site into something that could rival the rising tide of streaming sites; the whole thing produced a few series and films, but only one managed to get some traction: Cobra Kai. So when Google pulled the plug on the whole thing, new rivers were created from the flow of fan tears.

And then Netflix bought the first 2 seasons. Ever since the series became available on its new home it has been almost non-stop among the top-5 better performers. The company had already commissioned a 3rd season of their own to complete the show (some say Netflix is ancient Esperanto for "3 and done") but seeing how many viewers either followed or are discovering the show in the last 2 months alone, they took the very wise decision to break the... Fourth wall.

The series takes place 34 years after the original film (you know, the good one) and plays with a fan theory that simply refused to die and keeps gaining more and more adepts: the REAL villain of the film was Daniel (Ralph Macchio), not platinum-blondie Johnny (William Zabka). Watch it again: Johnny never instigates, it's always Daniel striking first or harassing the other, Johnny only retaliates to the half-pint who keeps asking for it. In that light, the show focuses a little more on Johnny Lawrence, divorced, deadbeat dad barely making due as a handy man.

"Did Mr. Myiagi really purple-nurple you?"

Circumstances bring him back in the path of Daniel LaRusso, now a wealthy yuppie who owns a string of car dealerships and gives away bonsai trees with every vehicle. The encounter pushes ol' leg-sweeper to revisit the past in order to secure his future: re-open Cobra Kai dojo himself. Which of course Daniel won't accept, prompting him to step in Mr. Myiagi's footsteps to antagonize his old foe once again. Can these two old dogs learn the new trick of not letting their own kids repeat their mistakes?

No, so far there hasn't been any indication that the original object of contention between the two fighters, time-defying screen goddess Elizabeth Shue, will join the fun, although the second season ended on Johnny getting a call from her which he ignored when he threw his phone in the sea. Dude... Save the whales, damn you! Also rumors that Hilary Swank's character from The Next Karate Kid would show up have so far been unfounded, although having her own Netflix show just out last month might make her more receptive to the idea. We do however get a full serving of Martin Kove as original d-bag Kreese, and Johnny's old posse show up for possibly the best episode of the series where the gang gives their dying buddy Tommy a perfect ride into the sunset (actor Rob Garrison, who really WAS living out his last days, died 6 months after the season came out).

All that to say Hey, a quick first look at the new season, out this coming January and it won't be pushed back because it's a TV show not a feature film that studios want to squeeze every penny from, is available now. Enjoy!

TV REVIEW: All Creatures Great & Small (2020)

Throw any sharp object you can grab straight in my general direction if my opinion displeases you, I still absolutely adored Channel 5's new adaptation of the James Herriot stories All Creatures Great & Small. So sue me I was 4 years old when the old BBC series hit the airwaves and 15 when it was... put down. But I did read the first 2 novels in College, and I say with no hesitation that it is a love letter to those books. I am not disparaging the 80s show you watched every Sunday afternoon, I never even "bloody" watched it.

The 6-part series star newcomer Nicholas Ralph (literally, his very first acting credit) as young Glasgow veterinarian James Herriot, who faces a life working in the docks during Great Depression 1 (just being proactive, because you know the 2020s will go down as Great Depression 2) when he receives an invitation to join a vet practice as an assistant in the English countryside of the Yorkshire Dales. His new employer is at first ignorant of said invitation (his housemaid did the deed, you see) but the grumpy doc soon enough grows fond of having a pupil to taunt, while young James needs to acclimate to a town quite alien to him.

If you spent your global quarantine, like so many, bingeing on Netflix true-crime shows like Tiger King, than this show is for you. Because it could not be more different (honestly I haven't watched Tiger King, but even isolated I couldn't stop hearing about it from everyone). In a year that just keeps out-darking itself, the fictional town of Darrowby and its denizens are a breath of fresh air. The 1930s rural England recreation is a wonder to gaze at, almost as much as the characters are warm and witty to a fault. This isn't the melodrama of Downtown Abbey (even though both shows share a producer), this is the simple charm of life, in all its soothing appeal.

"You know, someday they'll make a show about us. And call it Doggy King."

Surrounding the hero to help him insert his entire arm in horse behinds are a refreshing array or British talent. No offence to the Daniel Mays, Philip Glenisters and Keeley Hawes of it all, but sometimes you wanna watch a friendly yet not SO familiar face that you don't see each week on any British channel. Samuel West of Mr Selfridge (and the 1995 adaptation of Austen's Persuasion, which I enjoy much more than I care to say) takes over as the good doctor and mentor who is as endearing as infuriating, while his housemaid and closest friend, Mrs Hall, gains surprising depth as played by the amazing Anna Madeley.

Joining them are Neville Longb... I mean Mathew Lewis as the resident rich a-hole, Switched at Birth's Rachel Shenton as the unavailable love interest, and upcomer Callum Woodhouse as the irresponsible, free-loading brother Tristan. Oh, and the town's overly eccentric pooch owner Mrs Pumphrey brings equal parts smiles and tears, as played by the recently-deceased Dame Diana Rigg. Seeing the spark still light up her eyes in her final role at 82 is a thing of beauty, a necessary heartbreak.

Unless you enjoy sociopathic tendencies that make recent times joyful ones for you, All Creatures Great & Small is a timely offering that we all deserve to dwell into. Ed Power of iNews put it best by saying: Who needs superheroes when you can watch a vet coax a cow to its feet?