New Moon's dimissed auditions reel

I'm still wiping tears of laughter... sorry... can't write this up.
Just watch. Thanks to the folks of Take180.com.

Superhelden: Real-life Robin Hoods in Superhero Costumes

Don't you just love wacky documentaries that make you realize your world is not as crazy as you thought - it's barking mad! This one is among them...

I know about the real-life "Superhero" stupidity phenomenon in the US where common people dress up in quasi-elaborate costumes and pretend to fight crime while mostly posing for youtubers and novelty seekers. But Janerk Romero's documentary SUPERHELDEN (Superhero) puts the spotlight on a group of people who don't practice the American passive-idealism of their counterparts- they push the boundaries of lunacy and legality under the guise of "social change". Like raiding stores and delis and "stealing" whatever they want apparently to give back to the needy, and organizing "costumed" protests with thought-bubbles instead of signs.

At the same time the filmmaker follows one of those needys, a working mother who has to resort to the unthinkable to put food on the table. The result is not only an interesting look at how one country translates a growing phenomenon, but raises tons of questions toward social equality and the limits of do-gooders morality.

Here's the original trailer, and YES I know it's in German. Soon as I can find a translation I'll put it up here, promised. (Thanks to Quiet Earth for the find)

Slap Bet: The Game

Barney Stinson has spent the last 2 years slap-free, with 3 of the 5 slaps he lost to Marshall already administered. This November 23rd, the 4th slap was consecrated. And to mark the event, the producers of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER want all of us to join the fun! Here's Slap Bet: The Game!




(Notice the song, same that Marshall composed for Barney 2 years ago?...)

Check out The Nukies

Just in case someone out there doesn't know the expression, as was discussed with my gal-pal Super Marcey during my last FrogCast, there was this scene in the 4th Indiana Jones movie where Indy escapes nuclear havoc by taking refuge in a fridge - which gets propelled clear out of danger. Die-hard fans hated that scene so much it quickly became a thing, a reference to designate the moment when a once-great franchise veered straight into mediocrity.

A couple of guys decided the hype was too good to overlook and started their own website dedicate to that phenomenon, NukeTheFridge.com, where last year they held an Awards ceremony of sorts to "celebrate" such moments throughout the year where a movie or career got completely engulfed by a moment of lameness. Seems like it resonated with lots of movie fans since this year they're not only repeating but evolving with that ceremony.

Says Jason Nicholl, co-founder of the site, "Yes we will do the Nukies this year.  We will even expand the categories.  There are many entries this year, this was a horrible year for movies". The awards, like last year, are planned to be held on the same day as the Oscars, while the Razzies are held the night before.

To give an idea, here's a look at last year's "winners":

The Film that Most Nuked the Fridge
Winner: “Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”
Runner-up: “Transporter 3”

Actor or Actress to Most Nuke the Fridge: Pierce Brosnan.  Mr. Brosnan is an outstanding actor, and one can make the argument that he is the great James Bond of them all.  But the man can not sing.  So what was he thinking starring in the musical “Mamma Mia!”?  This was such a cringe inducing performance it left us all scratching our heads and wondering “what the?”

Nuke the Fridge Career Achievement Award: Mike Myers.  Mr. Myers was once funny.  But somewhere between driving the Austin Powers and Shrek films into the ground and the release of his latest film, the god-awful “Love Guru,” he became seriously unfunny.  Not since Eddie Murphy has a comedian so lost his touch.  “The Love Guru” was so unfunny, that his entire career seems to have nuked the fridge.   Can Mike Myers ever get back on track?  Only time will tell.

So what and who should be nominated THIS year??? I vote TF2's Robotic Scrotum!

Of Sparkly Vampires and 6-Packed Werewolves...

Everybody and their great aunt Edna has written reviews or op eds on NEW MOON and its predecessor TWILIGHT, so I'll spare myself the duty of reviewing it. BUT I did see it, for curiosity's sake -didn't pay for it, nor did I do anything illegal don't worry- and I feel I should bring some objectivity to it, with the following 3 thoughts.

On the Appeal and Quality
I tried to read the novels (again out of curiosity) and I have to say I understand the appeal for tweens; they are NOT well written at all, but then again if the vocabulary and turn of phrases require too much it won't be interesting for the "Instant Gratification" generation - said not as a poke but as a perfectly viable observation. But still, they are badly written, and thus the movies do not deserve the hysterical hype. The first one was a low-budget (low for a Hollywood studio, not for an indie) fare that should've generated between 20 and 30 millions in domestic take. The second one cost around $50M and looks it, but it's still a unoriginal and quite boring story that doesn't deserve to rank alongside THE DARK KNIGHT for opening week-end biggest takes.

On the Cast and crew
Kristen Stewart comes out very much as the chick who called the first movie's fans "retards" shortly after its release; she looks bored and not at all intent on doing something strictly for the people who adulate those movies and made her a star who can choose whatever project she likes next. Same for Rob Pattinson who makes SPACEBALLS' Prince Vallium look like a walking percolator. Big props however to Taylor Lautner who definitely pulled out all the stops to deserve the fan's dedication and looks to be having the time of his life. Ditto to Billy Burke who, although holding a small role in daddy Charlie, knows this could be his only shot at the big time and makes the most of it. Micheal Sheen knows how to enjoy himself with a paychek part, Dakota fanning makes you wonder why she isn't the one with the lead role, Cameron Bright is barely recognizable or seen and never says a damn word, and they kill Graham Friggin Greene midway through the movie! You can't kill Kicking Bird you lousy pagans!!!

To summarize: Lautner and Burke save the film, Stewart deserves a lifetime Razzie membership, Pattinson is on his way to pulling a Joaquin, and Sheen is a hell of a classy actor.

As for the director, I completely disagree with people who say Catherine Hardwicke is barely fit to handle a viewmaster let alone a camera; she knows how to use very little in framing and lensing to maximize the actor's play and the story's depth. She makes her movies small-scale by choice, and the narrative benefits greatly form it. Chris Weitz is brilliant with his brother Paul, but here repeats the unlearned-from mistakes of solo efforts like GOLDEN COMPASS: all visual, no heart. Dude says he might not make another movie for a long time, and dare I say please keep to your word.

On the subject or creatures
I'll refrain from saying Vampire should burn and not shine since everybody else did from here to eternity, and instead will focus on the other kind of classic creature revisited. Or I should say "used"; author Stephenie Meyers didn't try to re-invent or explore those mythos, just make them fit  her narrative (if that's what she calls it...). Anyhoo, werewolves are often a huge let down for either being too anthropomorphic or for not even trying to look like nothing else than a garden variety wolves; here, they're enormous, impressive, scary and still extremely dog-like in their behavior. rarely have I been that incensed by lycnathropes. But, again, all visual, no heart. The reasons for Bora and Edtard's infatuation is never explained nor, and it should be since we just don't see it. On the other hand, Jacob's hots for Bella need not be detailed - we do very much sense it, again thanks to Lautner taking his job much more seriously than everybody else.


If absolutely have to rate the film, I'll give it a generous 6/10; a very clichéd and lazy story, with a pair of un-interested leads, but some much invested co-stars and a great team behind the visuals.

"Defying Gravity": What we won't get to see

I've been a huge fan of the international collaboration show DEFYING GRAVITY since its very first (of 13...) episodes, and I really didn't mind people calling it "Grey's Anatomy in space" - it was character driver science-fiction, or soft-core sci-fi as I like to call it, as opposed to heavier genre shows like "Stargate". Plus it had a warm and charismatic cast, but above all I got the sense that the show's creator James D. Parriott knew where it was all going, as opposed to "Lost" where one of the exec producers admitted after season one they were no farther then 4 episodes ahead - which means they had no clear plan and made it up as they went...

Problem with the show wasn't quality -which it had in spades- but marketing; ABC bought the show from its producers a mere 3 weeks before airing it, thus leaving no time or space to promote it on their network, and no favourable time slot either, so unnoticed it went to the Friday night "death slot". Fast forward to about 8 episodes later, ABC yanks it off, and the producers just lost their major market. Show's dead and never got a chance to conclude in any way. Here in Canada we did get to see the final 5 episodes, but no clear answers were provided to the legions of questions planted throughout.

In late October, shortly after ABC's pulling of it, Parriott had a sit down with the folks of Clique Clack TV where he graciously revealed what he had worked out for at least 3 full seasons of the show. The interview can be found HERE, but for clicklessness' sake here's a brief breakdown of his revelations.

Nadia - As many had guessed with her hallucinations of a man who strangely resembled her, Nadia was born a hermaphrodite who's parents had made the gender choice for her age 11. The visions were of what she could've been had she chosen for herself. All those DNA changes Beta brings on the crew? They would've slowly reverted Nadia back to a more male-like state, and have her revisit the choice made for her by others in order to make it herself.

Donner and Zoe –  Donner’s reversed vasectomy was also part of the DNA change brought upon by Beta. Eventually, toward the very end of the series, the true reason for that happening would be revealed, when Zoe becomes pregnant again on the trip. So yes, even Zoe’s hysterectomy would be “reversed” in order for that to happen. The idea, for all of them, is to have Beta confront them with choices they made that changed their lives forever, and have them decide if they,d make the same choice again.


Wass — Wass was going to have something like Pervasive Developmental Disorder [like Autism] and have a great fear of people touching him and having contact with other people. He was going to become a weirder guy. He didn't have hallucinations simply because none could be worked out properly for him. He would've had them eventually, though.

Arnel Poe —People guessed pretty early on that it’s Arnel’s leg loss that gets Zoe back into the program. At the beginning of the second season, she was going to be at home, with a job teaching college,  have another romance. She's washed her hands of the whole thing which drives Donner nuts. Then Arnel would lose his leg during survival training, and Zoe would be called back.”

Jen — Jen's "challenge" from Beta is to face her fear of abandonment, as hinted with the isolation tank episode. Season two would have her driven farther apart form the others, and brought on the brink when the rabbit she "created" wreaks havoc on the ship and has to be put down. 

Eve — Eve would discover that her flashback of Ted on Mars is a flashforward - Ted has the word Antares on his helmet. By season 3 the crew would be back and preparing for the final pick-up, Mars, and Eve would have to go along.

Rollie — Rollie violates the gag order and goes to jail for running over the cyclist. He'd be released to prepare a resupply mission on Mars with Eve.

Goss — Goss would not be the bad guy in the end. Goss would find out that he’s been being duped a little bit, and that it’s bigger than all of them.

Beta and the other “fractal objects” —Their true nature was never going to be revealed, but left for the audience to debate and decide.

Other reveals:

• They would eventually get all of the fractal objects during the course of the show.
• Arnel, Trevor, Ajay and Claire would have been behind the “true” mission being revealed to the world, eventually. The three would be forced to work with Trevor in a sort-of underground initiative and ally with him when they see that he’s right in that something larger is being hidden. We would find out that Goss is hiding a larger agenda, and then there’s an even larger agenda that even Goss is unaware of.
• The state of the world — the planet Earth itself — would have been revealed. Budget was insufficient to do it initially, with most of it going to the ship, but by season three we'd get a glance a future-earth, and in Parriott's own word, "it's a fucked-up place".
  
• There was discussions of having the crew find Sharon and Walker alive on Mars, having managed to survive on the base-shelter built for the original mission.
  

(Thanks to jjadziadax for the heads-up)

How TWILIGHT Should've Ended!!!

I abso-friggin-lutely love Daniel Baxter's How It Should Have Ended website where he regularly creates short cartoons that parody how silly Hollywod can be. And just in time for the release of NEW MOON, Dan's created a hilarious send-off on the first film's questionable climax.

Enjoy, I know I did!

FrogCast #1

My (hopefully) triumphant return to podcasting after a 6-mont stint writing movie news on a daily basis and wanted to hang myself with all the New Moon crap I had to cover…
I this week’s edition:

• *A quick look at the interesting pieces of movie news from the last week
•  
• *A chat with my friend Super Marcey of the world-famous SuperPodcast who needs to rants about kitchen appliances vs nuclear weapons…
•  
• *Movies being released this week in theaters - guess what? NEW gosh-darn MOON!

Send your thoughts, questions and requests for my cabbage rolls recipe at ant_lan@yahoo.com and be sure to check out Super Marcey’s SuperPodcast!

Download Instead

(Right Click and save target)

MOVIE REVIEW: The Hangover

2009 Comedy
STARRING Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha
WRITTEN BY Jon Lucas & Scott Moore
DIRECTED BY Todd Phillips
The Hangover doesn't really re-invent the wheel, but it spins it to tremendous effect. With no name star on the poster and a budget less than 1/4 the usual summer fare, it manages something few movies have yet this summer: be fun, fresh, surprising and very entertaining.
Setting out to Vegas for a bachelor party, 3 groomsmen wake up in a renovation-bound hotel suite with a tiger, a baby, no groom and no memory of what happened during their night on the town. The further they go in retracing their steps to locate the groom, the less it seems they'll ever be able to forget a night they just can't remember.
Right off the bat, from one of the film's first scenes, is a reference to a similar-themed dark comedy from the mid-90s, the very horrid and questionable Very Bad Things. And upon complete viewing, said reference feels like both a reassurance to the viewer and statement to writer/director Peter Berg: THIS is how you pull-off a Bachelor Party Gone Wrong movie. I can't say I'm a fan of Todd Phillips' previous films (Old School, Road Trip) but the grossness factor and irreverance of this one becomes inoffensive due to the setting and cast, and extracted more thana few laughs out of me.
The whole thing might've felt stale and forced if populated by better-known actors or a cast usual to this type of comedy. But the trio of unknown-yet-experienced leads attack the material with extreme confidence and a fresh dose of reserve that allows for the MAYBE improbable succession of events to sweep them along and make the film work. Even a risky Rain Man reference turns out a refreshing moment of pure gold. Lots have been said of blue-eyed hunk Bradley Cooper and outrageous funny-man Zach Galifianakis, it seems to me though that Ed Helms is actually the anchor who brings this unlikely ensemble together; his take on the straight man who's in way over his head brings nothing new, yet it feels unique and tons of fun.
Talk around the water cooler has Lindsay Lohan-Ronson refusing the part played in the film by the still uber-hot Heather Graham, feeling the script beneath her and bound for failure. The Hangover raked in 8 times its budget to become one of the year's top money makers. Lindsay's last film was so bad it went straight to video. In Hollywood, you fail upward and succeed downward, it seems...
8.5* out of 10

MOVIE REVIEW: Bitten

2009 Dark Comedy/Horror

STARRING Jason Mewes, Richard Fitzpatrick, Erica Cox.
WRITTEN BY Tim McGregor and Tyler Levine
DIRECTED BY Harvey Glazer
It's quite unfortunate that such an original deconstruction of the genre comes smack-dab in the middle of the Twilight/True Blood vampire renaissance - seems that every week a new vampire project is announced to cash in on the attention given to the afforementioned. Had the film been given stronger legs it would've walked tall besides those, but the circumstances simply highlight its flaws which makes the actual strenghts forgettable.
The set-up, reminiscent in tone and style to Scorcese's Bringing Out the Dead (though nowhere as powerful) sees generically-named "Jack" the paramedic overcome heartbreak and depression when finding a too-cute-to-be-real woman unconscious and gravely injured on his doorstep. The romantic fantasy of nursing the lovely Danika back to health soon becomes nightmare when it turns out her predicament was caused by a vampire's bite. Jack's feelings for his new love are stretched to no end when her hunger forces him towards the unthinkable.
Fortunately for the film, there's no like-diamonds-in-the-sun aspect to its bloodsucker (GOD I hate Twilight...), instead presenting a classic kind of vampire but as she deals with discovering for herself what she is. The soundtrack to back up the black humor of it all is of a quality too rarely seen in such films, and one I'll make a point to track down and buy.
UNfortunately, the brilliant pieces of dark comedy nontwithstanding, it just doesn't work. The smallish budget has nothing to do with it, on the contrary the simplicity of the setting and location is one of its strenghts. Nor does the dialogues, infused with an improvisational urban feel that makes the interactions feel much more realistic than most doomed-romance stories. And before naysayers jump the gun, it ain't Jason Mewes either; the dude shows he's come a long way since his days as an addict and walking Hollywood joke, and shows he can handle himself in front of a camera. But as sympathetic as Mewes is, he still needs a strong hand to guide him, and he quite visibly doesn't get it.
Director Harvey Glazer does show skill at making something disturbing look funny, but he also clearly seems much more interested in exteriorizing his romantic frustrations (Women always want more even if it kills you is the none-too-subtle main theme) and obligeing in blatant voyeurism towards the painfully gorgeous Erica Cox (who spends the entire film barely clothed, if at all) than firmly steering his boat through a delicate balance of chills and laughs. The actors are left to themselves in crucial moments when a much more experienced filmmaker would've made them dish out career-defining performances -the potential is that high with the given material. Only Canadian screen vet Richard Fitzpatrick, playing Jack's mentor and confidant, manages to look good by himself and bring an A-game to the table. But since the film rests on the shoulders of less experienced Cox and Mewes, the intensity gets completely lost, and the potentially powerful ending comes out as a wet firecracker.
The film's short running time (barely 80 minutes) and ability to not take itself too seriously allow a still enjoyable watch for what many will consider a complete stinker. It's far from Uwe-Boll crapness, but also unfortunately not close to what it could've been under the guise of a Brad Anderson or Shane Carruth.
6* out of 10

Bronte's Heir: The Passing of Heathcliff

Mourning is a strange process, one that kept me awake for many a night in years of yore. Mainly because even though a personal loss long ago broke my heart and pretty much shaped the few following years of my life, I didn't react as strongly as the rest of my immediate entourage. I couldn't understand why that was, and couldn't stop feeling guilty and heartless about it. A very wise lady bestowed great peace of mind upon me many years later, when offering that a mourning process takes many years to unfold, and along the way covers for other reasons we may have to mourn. I slept my first peaceful slumber in a very long time that night, having suddenly realized I had, in fact, started mourning before that one tragedy, and was effectively already there. The unsustainable heartbreak had already happened, and covered for that latest event in my life. Most psychologists will probably laugh off my soothsayer’s wisdom, but it does explain many things in my head and my life, and helped me put that one ghost to rest once and for all.

It doesn't mean I shouldn’t care anymore, nor can I "downsize" the mourning of others, it just means I have my own way of feeling and dealing with a loss, and mustn't feel guilty for it. Especially when mourning for someone I never even met- if that someone affected your life in any way that leaves an empty space in your heart after their departure, you ARE allowed to honor them the way you need to. So I'll take the long road in writing this, for my process towards a recent tragedy means writing about everything that comes pouring from my mind in relation to it.

Val Kilmer is a great actor, no doubt about it; the guy has great talent and charisma which I respect. He was such a total pr**k in Top Gun that I couldn't for the life of me differentiate character from actor; he just felt like he really was that arrogant and cold and hateful. I realized with time that Kilmer is indeed an effing pr**k when doing any movie that he regards as being beneath him. No matter if many people liked the entertainment of Top Gun, he didn't care for the movie and so phoned-in the character. He's had a fair share of great performances, but it's these disrespectful-to-fans ones that stay with me. Can't you offer something that will please your fans AND make a bad movie better for it?

Cut to 1999, where I was an assistant-manager for a small movie theatre and had the time of my life watching movies every night for free. Some of them I could've done without repeated forced-viewings (Dr. Doolittle 2 is even worse when seen three times a day, every day, for four weeks), but others I just kept gushing about. This happened with one little flick I sat on during a particularly tedious-releases week, which blew away my initially low expectations, and had me make a very serious prediction: that foreign-accented kid is the next Jack Nicholson. The film was the surprisingly clever comedy Ten Things I Hate About You, and the square-jawed Aussie fellow was a complete unknown named Heath Ledger.

Ten Things could've been your average teen-flick-of-the-week, like so many Varsity Blues or any number of other films I can't remember (which proves my point), even though its premise was borrowed from Will the Bard and co-starred the hilarious David Krumholtz (and Julia Stiles, whom I must admit having had a crush on for a while). What elevated it above the rest was Heath’s very grounded and dedicated work in that he just chewed every single scene he appeared. He soon after vindicated my prediction by spear-heading the potentially-lame Knight’s Tale to mega-hit levels, and again later when leaving high-cost productions behind in favor of roles that challenged him, like his bizarre turn in Lords of Dogtown (one of my favorite films). I then gloated in my accuracy when he took one of the riskiest roles in cinema history, that of a gay -and married- cowboy, and rammed it down conservative Hollywood’s throat.

The death of Heathcliff Andrew Ledger is a great loss for his family, and for that my thoughts are with them. But I can't mourn, like them, for someone I knew so little about outside the screen. A lot of criticism has been and will be made of those like me who focus on the movie-side of the loss, but that IS what connected us to him, what challenged and amazed and dazzled and inspired us. And that is how I wish to pay him tribute. His body of work is what will remain long after those he moved personally have passed on as well; his body of work is what made me an admirer of his. I feel no guilt in being happy that he went out with such a posthumous bang.

Yes, start throwing rocks at me, I AM talking about The Dark Knight. You know who would've phoned-in Ten Things I Hate About You and snarled at those who paid to see it? Val Kilmer. You know who almost single-handedly ruined Batman? Val Kilmer. You know who completely delivered up the same kind of roles for the greater enjoyment of fans, and went to great lengths never to let them feel screwed out of their entrance-fee cash? Heathcliff. He’s the guy who turned his back on the media at award shows in order to cross the line and meet the crowd to sign autographs. YES, I meant I’m dying to watch THAT guy play the Joker!

Let me put it another way. I loved and admired John Candy tremendously, as did I River Phoenix. Alas I can't help but feel sad knowing Big John died while filming Wagons East, a film so lame he didn't even want to be in it (he was under contractual obligations to), or that River's last three films were below-average, barely released bombs. Tragic it is both for the public to remember them that way, AND for the artists who must've felt like failures when the final moment came. After all, Hollywood makes a point of reminding its denizens that they’re only as good as their last project, no matter how influential their entire career was.

On the other hand, there’s John Cazale, with only six films under his belt: the much-acclaimed The Conversation, the first two Godfather films (who can't remember Fredo and the kiss-of-death), the groundbreaking Dog Day Afternoon (the grandfather to Heath's Brokeback Mountain), and The Deer Hunter which he completed shortly before passing away. All six of them are considered among the best movies from the 70's. Most likely unhappy to die of cancer, John must've felt great pride in knowing his short contribution to the cinematic culture was enormous, and that no-one would ever look back at his career as a failure. He went out on top with one of the most haunting soldier-story movies ever made.

Heath Ledger's last few performances (and early ones too) broke the mold, shattered Hollywood conventions and rules, and made legions of fans proud to have supported him since Ten Things I Hate About You. And this summer, he will wave at us from the grave, in what is already being hailed as the performance of his lifetime, reminiscent of what Michael Corleone was to Al Pacino, Gandhi to Ben Kingsley or The Dude to Jeff Bridges. Could he really have expired without knowing how deeply he touched so many people? The still-young actor expressed exhaustion following his final performance, something that many blame for his untimely death, but he goes out with his gosh-darn boots on. I am increasingly feverish in my wait to be dazzled by his Joker, and will not hesitate to feel happy for him - that he left an amazing career on such a high professional note.

My thoughts and feelings ARE sad and DO go towards his family. But MY method of mourning will be to appreciate fully his entire filmography and final bow to movieland, and to be happy knowing Heathcliff ends up buried alongside Catherine, just as Emily Bronte had intended for her tragic anti-hero.

Internet Scam ALERT: Freelance Job Postings

Of course I like writing, otherwise these here words would be in no position to be read...And like everyone else, I'd like my writing to bring a little bit of fazools on the side. So like many many people browsing these virtual avenues each day, I decided to do a bit of Freelance writing work - be a hired gun for websites in need of articles.

It is a harsh world to navigate, and I did my share of blunders when starting out; wrote a few pages for people who never intended to pay for them, wrote Shakespearean prose when all the client wants is the same word repeated over and over so that search engines can spot it...you know the kind!

But I came through, found a few nice people to work for, and even began editing the writings of people who think I'm stupid enough to believe they know how to write - in English above all! All in all, I steer clear of the scams because we all know what they look like.

There appears to be a new type of scam though, one almost impossible to spot before applying, meant only to lure and dupe rookie writers into becoming registered members of some "who cares, really" organisation.

The job posting is quite common and straighforward;
Usually something like "I'm looking for writers for a website, we are currently offering $0.04 per word, which will go up over time, and need English writers. Please email me at me@myaddress.com and I will get back to you with more information. You must be able to read and write in English to take up this job."

Then, mere minutes after sending a job application to the address, the applicant receives such an automated message:
Hello,Thank you for you interest. We have receive an overwelming number of inquires,so we are going through the aplications. Please signup at our any of our clients websites listed below and take a lookaround, as that will make thing quickher should we hire you.
(That was an actual mail I recieved - notice that it very is badly written)

Of course, whether you register or not means nothing in regards to the job - never will that person contact you again; you will however observe an increase in undesired spam.
Some will offer a variant - register to our site so we can verify that you live in Canada or USA; or you must be a member to be considered for the job.

Here, then is a list of such scammers posting on Freelance job sites:

Jill Saunders jill.saunders08@gmail.com (that one responds with 5 different sites to register, all about buying things you don't need)
Mark Xamin myhocke1@myhockeyforum.com (he simply wants more people to populate his hockey forum - and says so in responding)
Jess Banes jessbanes@googlemail.com (that one does it repeatedly with different sites to register on each time)
mental ray mental.ray000@gmail.com (Someone named Katie, and it turns out its to take ten surveys a week, each time apparently making you eligible to win big money)

There are many others, and I vow to find them!

A poke of "The Eye": CBS Cancels Jericho. Again.

CBS made me a liar. I had predicted they would wait a few months after Jericho's second (very short) season to announce what everybody knew in advance -that the show is done- but they didn't; they leaked (didn't even care to do a proper press release) the news that the finale would be a series finale 5 days before it aired.

For anyone with more of a life than I, here's a quick overview of the whole story. Jericho is a show which debuted on CBS in the Fall of 2006, about a small Kansas town dealing with the aftermath of a massive nuclear attack on the US. It was rich in characters and storylines, had a great cast and writers, and pulled a very strong fanbase very quickly. When announcing in Summer 2007 that the show was dead, fans rallied into an unprecedented campaign which rivaled even the one saving Star Trek in the 60s; CBS execs were flooded with complaints (even on their personal phones and emails), protests were mounted on multiple platforms and tons -literally tons- of nuts were sent to the network in a show of refusal from the fans to let their show die.

CBS was pretty much cornered; history was being made with the campaign, and all eyes were on the Eye. Would they ignore the new kind of TV-watching and fanbase accompanying while at the same time alienating part of their viewership, or at least act as though their network is in touch with the new millennium's new possibilities? Their response was a judicious one, on a business level: make them think they won. A new season was announced, with only 7 episodes and a much downgraded budget, to satisfy the fans, with a stern warning: get us more viewers or you killed your own show.

Ratings haven't improved during the abridged second run, on the contrary. Many blame the time slot -10pm on Tuesday, right after two hours or "American Idol"-, others the lack of promotion from CBS, the lesser quality of the new episodes, the increasing ability to stream and download, or the writer's strike which prompted a change of habit for many TV watchers. Bottom line is money -from advertising- which can't be cropped if TV ratings don't add up. Nielsen's statistics system might be outdated, it's still the closest and surest way to find out how many Americans watch TV at a given moment, and they said not many watched Jericho.

Many people in my entourage sarcastically asked me how much I'd spend on nuts THIS time, to which my answer remains the same since cancellation started looming (again): nothing. I could say that the impossible can't be accomplished twice, that there comes a time when you must learn to let go, that the lack of ratings proves the futility of it all, and so on and so forth. But the reason behind my decision is much more simple: I just don't care anymore.

I did watch the new season with passion and interest - even though the show feels crammed and packed instead of letting the story breath and unfold. But the original campaign was much more than about a show. It was being part of history, just like the aforementioned Trek campaign which is still talked about. It was about taking part in a revolution of medium and democracy, where our campaign could pave the way for a whole new way of moving mountains, letting our voices be heard, influencing world leaders, helping causes that need it desperately and maybe even finally save the God damn planet.

But then dissension and corruption quickly gained the upper hand inside this new army, where people were bitching each other and bickering about who shot first -Han or Greedo, while a few attention seekers try to apoint themselves reigning monarchs of the fandom. Elsewhere, the Republicans nominated another ultra-conservative geriatric as their presidential nominee. Britney's latest plea for attention stole the newspaper's front page, relegating the reasons behind the dumbest war in history to the trivial facts columns. And every time I go to the supermarket with my two children, people still look at them as spoiled little brats or freaks - no one cares that autism is the fastest proliferating affliction on the planet while remaining a complete mystery even to specialists.

I don't care anymore because I thought the movement to let a community of caring people be heard would be the tip of a brand new sword. Instead I find myself the punchline to the joke of a plastic dagger. Mega corporations and big money still rule, common people can't be civil and decent to each other, and those who bitch against it at the watercooler still won't take to the streets against it all and change things for real.

Jericho's a great TV show, and I'll miss it. When it's gone, I'll change the channel and dumb myself down with something else before going to sleep. Such is the way of the world we live in. I'll fight my own battles my own way, on my own terms, for my own reasons from now on.

MOVIE REVIEW: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

2008 Drama/Western

STARRING Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck, Sam Rockwell, Paul Schneider, Sam Shepard

WRITTEN BY Andrew Domink, based on the novel by Ron Hansen

DIRECTED BY Andrew Dominik

There's a lot to be said of a movie whose title dares spoil the punch right from the get go, since in a way in doesn't really. Of course Jesse James ends up assassinated by Robert Ford - just as we knew the Titanic sinks, Marty gets back to the future and Fredo Corleone is a wuss. What it truly spoils though is the irony; History remembers Robert Ford as a sniveling weasel who killed his friend to get famous and rich while Jesse was a Jolly-Golly great guy who loved everyone and never had an evil bone in his body. But the truth, although probably truncated a bit in the film for dramatic purposes, was much more complex, sad and dark.

The story picks up Jesse James during his last big job with brother Frank, and a bunch of hired tugs to help out since the original gang members were all either dead or in jail. One of them Robert Ford, initially tries to become a sidekick to his childhood idol Jesse, only to realize that the myth was much larger and sunnier than the man. As health leaves Jesse while paranoia gains him, both men will lock themselves in crash course with an inevitability that plagues whatever is left or their lives.

Many naysayers and critics of the film denounce its length -2 and a half hours- for making it a boring tableau of depressing dialogs. Lucky for them the original 4-hour cut was trimmed down for theatrical release, but that's besides the point. Their real beef is that most movie goers were expecting a western, an epic with lush action sequences and great moments of emotional roller coasters. The absence of which is what actually makes it such a piece of art.

The very melancholic (and striking) music brings forth and carries a sense of doom and sadness throughout the film, adding to the forebaring narration which puts the viewer on a path to feeling heartbreak for all of its protagonists. With the "mystery" out of the equation, the viewer is allowed to experience the true surprise and discovery - knowing who exactly was Jesse James as a man, what could go through the mind of his killer, what influence did they both have living and dead. Truly majestic editing allows such discoveries and appreciation, even beyond the titular event which isn't the end of the line.

All of it would mean nothing without outstanding performances, by all involved. Of course Brad Pitt is Brad Pitt, with all of his usual ticks and mannerism, but the man also carries tremendous charisma which is a trait everyone seems to agree on for the famous outlaw. The true acclaim however goes to his cast-mates, none of them stars or A-listers but each and everyone respected and admirable thespians, bringing much grounded credibility to the project. To be noted among them are Paul Schneider (previously noticed in "Elizabethtown" and "The Family Stone"), Micheal Parks, the always lovely Zooey Deschanel in a blink-and-youll-miss appearance and even left-wing commentator James Carville as a self-righteous state governor.

All of them are however overshadowed by the increasingly amazing Casey Affleck, who brings such a mixed bag or mystery, emotions and empathy to his character or Robert Ford that along with "Gone Baby Gone", little-bro Casey has managed to completely shatter the perception of being nothing else than Big Ben's sibling.

A piece of advice - WATCH the movie, in peace and tranquility, without interruption. It is truly one of those epics that deserve such attention to be fully digested and understood.

Final score on the CC Scale: 5 out of 5

Sesame's Nasty Street: censored & deleted scenes

I found these clips individually on YouTube, and couldn't resist the idea that the venerable and almost legendary kiddie show "Sesame Street", which I admitedly grew up with, could have a few nasty skeletons in its closet...

So here's my little montage of these very funny clips.

Blondie and her Headphones: DJ Zoé

Parents of special children sacrifice a lot of things out of love for their wee ones. One thing this dad ain't ready to part with is sanity - which will soon be lost if I have to listen to "Barbie: Island Princess" one more god damn time!

So I found a solution to free myself of that torturous feat for at least a few minutes...

MOVIEW REVIEW: Jumper (2008)

2008 Action/Sci-Fi
STARRING:Hayden Christensen, Samuel L. Jackson, Jamie Bell, Rachel Bilson.
WRITTEN BY David S. Goyer & Jum Uhls, based on the novel by Steven C. Gould
DIRECTED BY Doug Liman

If Jumper succeeds in one area, it will be to make viewers want to read the book, since it is unquestionably a very intriguing twist on a recycled-yet-cool concept. But as far as the movie goes, it's a great concept that tripped at the finish line. Well, actually, tripped all through the race track.

The story follows David, a kid from a broken home whose life is saved when discovering the ability to teleport. His mastering of this unique power allows him to escape his home front and forge a dream life for himself, one where the entire planet is his playground. His new lifestyle however puts him in the path of a secret society of quasi-religious fanatics bent on annihilating his kind, and a fellow "Jumper" who fights them back.

Although the visuals F/X were bashed by critics all over, they provide jawropping sceneries and actions scenes, which is almost enough to make a good movie. The viewer truly feels swept along with the hero when he jumps, dizziness and all.

What makes it veer into lousy-movie territory though is "Manakin" Skywalker (hopefully about to drop out of sight) as the lead, and very poor narrative development. Interesting characters are showcased with walking-tree performances to support them, save for Jamie Bell who litterally explodes with charisma in each of his scenes; Sam Jackson phones-in one of his rare bad guy roles, Micheal Rooker is given nothing to work with and Diane Lane shows up for little else but to pick up her monthly paycheck. Along those lines, mysterious elements are introduced to great viewer-interest only to be left unexplained or unused - A ritual knifed wielded by Sam Jackson which we never learn anything about, David's mother who could have been the next Darth Vader, the anti-hero Griffin who's storyline is left litterally "hanging", a mention of centuries-old conflicts that are never exposed and the origin of the power itself which is never explained. The story (and film) ends abruptly with no resolution and VERY little satisfaction, as if it was only the pilot of a yet-unproduced TV show.

Still an entertaining film, Jumper should be seen with low expectations and with a focus on the few strengths, which are the awesome visuals and the always-amazing Jamie Bell as badass jumper Griffin - who most definitely should've been the true star of this movie.

Final score on the CC Scale: 2 out of 5

"I Am Legend"s Better Ending

A lot has been said about the theatrical success of Will Smith's Holidays blockbuster "I am Legend", namely that the ending came far too abruptly and that it completely veers away from the spirit of the original material. And I say Will Smith's because even though it wasn't the usual "Aww HHell No" Big Willie-style star vehicle, it wasn't even 15% of Richard Matheson's groundbreaking novel of the same name.

The thing is, if you want a $100M+ movie to succeed, you have to make it highly commercial; Matheson's novel is far from that. It's gritty, the hero is unlikeable, and the ending is a downer shrouded into a grave lesson for all of humanity: we're much too arrogant of our place in this world for its or even our own good. it's understandable, from a business point of view, that studio execs requested some "changes".

The climax of the novel has hero Robert Nevile, a construction worker who mysteriously survived a modifying plague, discovering that some of the "new Humans" have formed their own society; and he's been killing them off on the basis that they are monsters out of mythology who's place is not in this world, when in actuality he's the monster who's place is in legends and children's bedtime spook stories. He's a predator who needs the be dealt with by society - the new society. When he understands it, he lets himself be caught and judged, and accepts that execution is the only way out of his nightmare.

The movie has COLONEL Robert Nevile, MD (!!) fighting to find a cure to the plague and restore society as it was. When he finds a pair of other survivors, he sacrifices his own life in a blaze of glory so that they can escape with the cure and join a colony of survivors to try and repel the plague themselves. WOW did THEY miss the point.

HOWEVER, just this week, the original ending, IE the one that was scrapped by the studio in favor of the "hero" one in time for theatrical release, found its way (like everything these days) on YouTube. It's already become a source of tremendous debate among the geek community, some saying it sucks (I like that very vacant and close minded argument) while others praise it to high genius.

I usually try to look at both sides of any argument, and find the common ground to bring peace on earth and please everyone. this once, though, I have to take a stand. The alternate ending is MUCH BETTER! First, because it keeps in line with the books: Nevile realizes he's been hunting the meta-humans like they were beasts outside their cages when in reality they are the new dominating race, able to think, feel and gather in a somewhat-coherent society. Second, because Neville is anything but a hero - he shouldn't die like one, in a blaze of glory or some other honorable death. Third, because the end is left ambiguous, like everything was back when the novel was written; IS there a colony of human survivors? Will they leave the meta-humans alone? Will they survive their journey? Are they the very last humans or not, and do they understand their new place in the world?

I do praise this new ending to high genius. Plus, it makes much more sense toward the rest of the movie: why the meta-humans followed him home, why he was set up in a trap, etc. It redeems a movie that I initially condemned as one more inaccurate and downright lame version of a great novel, to the point where I wish to high heaves that the studio will release a director's cut with that original ending, the same way Paramount allowed Brian Helgeland to materialize his vision of "Payback".

If only for my own enjoyment, here's the ending in question, in all its YouTube glory.

Having an Autistic child isn't a disaster

Parents who just learned their child is afflicted with autism might very understandably feel the sky falling on their head, with no hopes of it lifting off again anytime soon.

The good folks at AutismStreet.org graciously agreed to let me post their very beautiful video made to help, reassure and inspire such parents who, like me, face challenges that seem much bigger than they will turn out to be.

Don't let fear and uncertainty overwhelm you; take it one step at a time, allow yourself to make mistake, and let things unfold as they naturally should. Not to sound cheesy, but every little thing's gonna be alright. Watch this, and pass it on to others like us.

MOVIE REVIEW: Justice League -The New Frontier

I admitedly never was a big comic book enthusiast; not that I don't like them, it's just too big a world to start investing in for me. Nevertheless, I am a DC cartoon series fan (Teen Titans, JLA, Batman Beyond and such, and as such had been waiting for Justice League: The New Frontier like a kid for Christmas. Unfortunately, only über comic book fans had a visit from Santa.

Based on the 2004 limited comic book series of the same name, the film is an exercises in progressive nostalgia; it is an attempt at writing and drawing the way it was done 50 years ago, keeping in mind what we know today in terms of human rights, political activism and war. The story, set in the mid-50's, features classic DC superheroes having to band with the US government to stop the threat of a powerful entity known simply as The Center.

There are a few bulls-eye hits in the film itself; starting with the art and visuals; classic costumes and drawing look absolutely great with modern animation techniques, giving us a glimpse at something that looks completely new when in actuality its been around for ages. The costume themselves were bold choices, dressing up Wonder Woman like a cave woman, Batman the way he was in Bob Cane's mind and superman looking like George Reeves. The soundtrack is inviting and pitch perfect, the editing shows great savoir faire and the production is chock-full of references and wink-wink moments to delight any big kid.

The first big problem though, is that the big kids targeted as an audience are those who know this universe and its denizens inside out; the film acts as if we all grew up reading every single CD universe comic book ever printed. Meaning there's no room for character development, just look backs and references. While the book form was much more expanded and rich in min and orbital storylines, this adaptation cuts quite short - just over an hour short. The story itself, dragging aimlessly until there's 10 minutes left, feels like a series of "hey remember that from the book, and that, and that here".

A great superhero epic also needs a memorable villain; this one has dinosaurs inexplicably coming out of its pores, a Satanism-like cult following, the appearance of a flying island and Keith David's voice. Only the last attribute make it worth being called villain (nobody threatens like Keith's voice), thus dousing the dramatic impact on the overall product.

Then there's voice casting, which again is more behind-the-scenes fun than actual helpful to the film itself. Kyle Mclachlan playing Superman after being denied the George Reeves part in "Hollywoodland" induces a smile, so does Lucy Lawless playing a battle-drunk Wonder Woman. Even Jeremy Sisto manages to surprise with his cynical and nuanced Batman. But Sisto can't quite erase the work, of Kevin Conroy, nor do any of the other performers. And don't get me started on the very cheesy and thinly veiled use of 50's patriotism to promote humanitarian values...

New Frontier deserves an A for the effort and sentiment, but ultimately it feels like the unfinished pilot for a potentially great series. Many juicy extras on the DVD sweeten the investment, but again, mostly for hardcore comic book fans. Others might wanna borrow the thing from a neighbor. For those who'll argue that I simply stacked my expectations too high, well you're darn right I did, and boy am I disappointed.


Final score on the CC scale:
2.5 out of 5